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      • I Never Thought I Would
        03/31/07
        Here are some things I never thought I would do, but did.

        -Go a day without writing a blog entry
        -Weigh over 200 lb.
        -Steal a gallon of milk
        -Have a disability
        -Own a St. Bernard
        -Wear Granny Undies
        -Have a moustache
        -Drink too much
        -Install a chai

      • Dollahs and Sense
        03/28/07
        What do they have in common? Neither wants anything to do with me .

        This entry is going to be a bit of a downer, because well, I'm a loser. I can't deal with money if my life depends on it. And it DOES depend on it, friends.

        The Mr. was gone for a couple of days, as

      • The TSM Interview
        03/27/07
        I thank Sandra, the Sunshine Scribe , for proposing an interview for my faithful victims readers. The following questions were posed, and after a full minute of thought and consideration, here are my go-for-broke answers.

        1.What character (from a movie) would you most want to be? <

      • Because I didn't feel bad enough...
        03/26/07
        Picture the scene:

        My sister and I, scouring the racks at Goodwill (because I don't have a problem with other people's old clothes). We head over to the plus size department, thinking we might find what she's looking for. Each time I said "OH LOOK!" and pulled a b

      • Random Nonsense
        03/25/07
        Hope everyone had a fantastical weekend, and that we're all feeling at least partially ready to face the seven-day-horror-fest that is Spring Break.

        I don't know who decided that, during the time of year when I have the most to do in my yard and the least amount of sleep (sprin

      • Open Letters
        03/23/07
        These are open letters,Lara style.

        To the twenty-something jogger on Hwy 99 every afternoon: Honey, I see that you're really working hard. It's admirable. And yeah, you're much smaller than me. But a word of advice: you've got to strap your GIRLS down! I mean they'

      • Conversation...
        03/23/07
        This conversation was had between the 15 year old and I:

        Me: GO to your ROOM!

        Him: What did *I* do? Jeez you've told me that like five times today!

        Me: And yet, here you stand, NOT in your room!

        Him: It's just that...I think there's somethin

      • Almost a Decade
        03/21/07
        I was so nervous. Nervous and excited.

        We had booked that beautiful church in downtown Grants Pass with the huge steeple that I had always passed and said "I want to be married THERE!". This, of course, meant putting up with that wierd woman-pastor and being married in a Method

      • When You're Serious About Doing the Deed
        03/19/07
        Thus far, I have managed to avoid embarassing my husband horribly by revealing far more information than he is comfortable sharing. Sadly, that time has come to an end, because today we're talkin' 'bout SEX bay-bee!

        With my anniversary fast-approaching (it's actually t

      • Half-Naked Men with POWAH
        03/18/07
        Mr. TSM and I are celebrating 9 years of blissful matrimony this week, and we went out Saturday evening, hitting the town in celebratory fashion.

        The high-end french restaurant where we dined was wonderful, made all the better by the spectacular conversation and a thirty-dollar bottle of

      • Plumbing Purgatory Day
        03/16/07
        At a simply ungodly hour this morning, this night owl was shuffling around, eyes half-open, massaging her husband's aching shoulders. I know. I'm a catch. Once he headed off to work (I don't know how he works with a migraine like that!), I sat down to see if I could muster enough inte

      • The Great Color Debate
        03/14/07
        Nothing is more controversial. Nothing is more talked about. NOTHING in HISTORY has been the subject of more jokes than hair color.

        That's right, it's time to discuss the color of my hair. I realize that it's not one of the things Mighty Girl recommends you discuss to dru

      • Tension in the Yard
        03/13/07
        Walking out my front door, my senses are bombarded. It's beautiful (though not quite sunny, still lovely), the temperature is crisp, but not cold, and you can smell the cut grass and freshly moved dirt.

        If the last two hours are any indication, that dirt came from someone digging a g

      • And the winner is...
        03/12/07
        A big fat THANK YOU to all who participated in the contest to come up with a new moniker.

        Without further adieu...



        EVERYONE immediately go to Lara's site and leave her kudos. Yes, NOW. Right now! You! Go!

        Until I can come up with something re

      • Oh, the HORROR!
        03/08/07
        Like any good horror story, this one starts out with a trip to...

        ...the drug store.

        You see, now that I'm in my...um...30s...I find that I have developed...how shall I say this...oh fine...I HAVE A MOUSTACHE. Ok? IT's dark, and ugly and I want it GONE! Post Haste!
      • My Stomach's Reply
        03/07/07
        It's not my fault I did expand
        Because you fed me contraband

        It wasn't me that called for cake
        And pie, and chips and rib eye steak

        Extending 'til I made you nauseous
        Didn't even make you cautious !

        Past the lips more food didst shu

      • Ode to My Stomach
        03/06/07
        OH lovely glob of flabby skin
        With rolls of fat so deep within

        You advertise my weak-willed plight
        And keep my jeans from fitting right

        Cakes and pastries you ingest
        And now protrude just past my breasts

        Where once I had you pierced and taught
        I n

      • Pain, Dirt and Fairies
        03/05/07


        Ouchie mama. I'm an achin' girl tonight, lemmejusttellya.

        No, there's nothing injured in that picture, I'm just exceedingly dirty. This time on the outside!

        Just a little construction project. Just throw some screws in these here boards and vo

      • Manual Labor & Merlot
        03/04/07
        Just so we're clear, the manual labor and merlot were mutually exclusive, and embarked upon by separate individuals.

        My 15 year old strong-as-an-ox son was dispatched to pull boards up from our old, weathered deck whilst I looked on with a lovely glass of merlot. Fair? Of course! Wh

      • FINE…is that your final answer?
        03/03/07
        I believe we’ve arrived.

        We are now at that place where my 13 year old ends every exchange with an attitude-infused, “FINE!”

        What does that mean, exactly? When she says “FINE”, does that mean that the instructions I just gave her to FINISH the dishes and stop taunting her broth

      • The Irony of Importance
        03/01/07
        The other day, I spent a little quality time with Kay-a-noo and Charlize in a little town called San Francisco. I watched as they took the month of November and made it sweet . He was an ass, she won him over and changed his life forever. Then she died. If you haven’t seen it and I just ruined it f

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