Trying to cope with the situation is a mountain to climb at best. I am starting to feel resigned at this point. My wife had explained to me how an outside friendship has been much more then that for 2 years now ( I knew something but not to the overwhelming extent ). Regardless of our issues, short comings, and day to day ins and outs of our relationship she gave her heart to someone else. I have been betrayed by someone I called a friend, and by many others that knew and said nothing. I have very few people to talk to. All of our friends are really her friends. And she is gradually talking to all of them explaining the situation in her terms. We have decided to work it out, but my resolve is breaking. She grieves for him not me because thats where a big part of her heart is. She hurts but not for me. She will not let me in to help start the process because she is afraid. She said she is here to stay and work it out, but everyone she speaks to she says “we will see”. So I see myself resigned to standing and waiting to see what will happen because I can not get past these barrier and I truly am standing alone as I have lost my best friend and I have lost the emotional support from my wife to get through this. She will allow me to grieve but can only watch and give sympathy. I feel hopeless because I do not see hope in her eyes. She has not had a chance to have a life with this man only a deep romantic relationship away from the kids, me, her work and responsibilities. Here she has a established life with reality where she does not feel that deep passion just a responsibility and more of an established life to lose if she is wrong.  She would not have told me if she did not want to clear the air and work it out. She is being open and honest with all my questions, I guess after 4 days of knowing we really cant expect more. She needs to get over her grief for him before she can give focus to us, and that is where my hopelessness lays.

A big hello to myself.